Orange is the new black

Shortly after I started working again, V and I finally finished the made for Netflix series, Orange is the New Black.  Poor V was forced to listen to my several scenarios of how I would survive in the prison lifestyle.  (low security).  None of the scenarios turned out well; I still don't even know how I would align myself.  It's good to have a rough plan though, just in case... 

I identified with the main character, Piper, for she was not only the most boring character, but her background made her unfit for the necessary street smarts needed to survive on the inside.  While I have never dappled in female romantic relationships or laundered drug money, I empathized with her overall naivety and her talent for foot in mouth situations.

 Over the course of watching the show, I did that annoying thing where I let a TV drama make a reference in my every day life...almost every day.   

"Hey, it's like that episode of Orange is the New Black!..."

In the seventh episode of the show, I was reminded of the meaning of Robert Frost's poem The Road Less Traveled.  I, like the uneducated inmate who quoted the famous line (at least she didn't use it as her blog title...), misinterpreted what Frost was actually trying to say (Yes, I have studied the poem before and still chose to use it how I saw fit...kind of like a politician).  Piper corrects her and says:

"everyone thinks the poem means to break away from the crowd and do your own thing, but if you read it, Frost is very clear that the two roads are exactly the same. He just chooses one at random. And then it’s only later at a dinner party when he’s talking about it that he tells everyone he chose the road less traveled by, but he’s lying. So the point of the poem is that everyone wants to look back and think that their choices matter. But in reality, shit just happens the way that it happens, and it doesn’t matter."

Was it that clear? (and there's another lesson to be learned: never be the smarty pants in prison...it's just not a good reputation to have...)

Apparently Frost took pride in misleading people on the meaning of his poems.  I dislike poetry in general and took pride in dropping out of pre-AP English and going to regular with the simpletons.  We drew picture books and worked on spelling lists.  It is there I started using my own words (that aren't real words) and mixing up all my euphemisms.  I also make up my own grammar.  ... ... ... ... ... ... ... you already knew that...

But I got almost a 100 (really good at picture books)...boosting my GPA to the up and up (Target) and tested out of the first 6 hours of English in college with simple writing tests.  Winning.

Enough bragging...about minimum proficiency in ELA...

With all the orange and black Halloween stuff out, I have been reminded of OITNB.

 

my cousin and Alex at the Owen's pumpkin patch

 

 

Our district was kind and gave us a Monday Fair Day off that didn't fall on Columbus Day.  I went with a couple of my co-workers and their kids to the Dallas Arboretum to check out the pumpkin patch and see the new children's garden museum thing.  The museum is amazing.  You could definitely spend all day there...unless you have a two year old...

Would it be weird to have a date day there with the husband and have no children to take through the "children's garden"?  I guess weirder things have happened.

 

 

is he laughing or crying?  the question I ask myself all the time... (he's laughing here...)

On the way out of the Arboretum, I had planned on changing Alex in the car before I knew he would fall asleep on the way home.  We are supposed to be working on potty training, but it's really hit or miss with me and consistency.  He ran around all morning, ate lunch, and drank his entire canteen of water and I just figured he did his business somewhere along the way.  I got to the parking lot and it was swarming with people looking for close spots.  A lady stopped and turned on her blinker, claiming my spot, so I walked over and told her I was going to change my son and it would take no less than five minutes.  She said it was fine because it was rock star parking.

When I diaper checked, it was dry!  There was no way to communicate to Alex to go ahead and go in his diaper and I'd change it 

1. because he would never understand that 

2. he says no to anything I tell him anyway 

3. it would ruin what very, little progress we have made in potty training.

So I did what any mother of the year would do and stripped him (no pants party in the parking lot), stood him in the parking lot by the car and told him to go for it. I even remembered to take off his socks.

He gave me a weird look, but then indeed went (what have I started?).  So I was that mom who let her son pee in a public parking lot.

It reminded me of a garage sale we had when I was in middle school.  A family had come in to look at stuff and their son ended up peeing in our garage.  Just right there in the middle of the garage.

I became that family.

When I told V the story, he was reminded of an episode of Orange is the New Black where one of our favorite characters, Suzanne (a.k.a. crazy eyes) peed on the floor outside Piper's sleeping area because Piper rejected her as her wife.  (He even acted it out...which was hilarious...V is very good at pantomiming). 

Crazy eyes is hilarious and the show is worth watching just for her.  

Here's a montage someone created to give you an idea.

 

*Warning:  Very vulgar...do not watch if you are easily offended...by anything...seriously.

The Best of Crazy Eyes

Crazy eyes likes poetry.