Random filler
I'm not going to link this to Facebook because it's not really important, just something I want to make sure and remember while it's fresh.
Also, this year I'm going for straight up quantity over quality.
Walking into my school every day is like entering the gates of hell. It's my job to be involved in something hilarious, if possible, every day before I leave the building so the devil doesn't win. Today was a week's worth of hilarity.
I am pretty weird, and I've met some pretty weird people but today, I met bizarre. I really needed video or recording for this because it's kind of unbelievable...
My next door coworker was out today and had a sub.
She had subbed once before in the high school area and I heard stories at lunch about how strange she was. She set up the table with a table cloth and other things I can't remember...
I teach classes straight through to lunch every day which takes a lot of endurance, but I am rewarded with the afternoon conference time...no students after lunch. We always try to help a sub out because our kids are the worst with subs. I heard my 8th grade boys getting kind of loud through the wall while I was "working" so I grabbed some stuff to "grade" and headed next door to sit with them.
The sub looked like Black Mary Poppins. She had her hair put up, was wearing a long skirt, fitted sweater, and pointy shoes.
She said, "what is your name,again?" (she never got my name ever)
I never know how to introduce myself to an adult in front of students, so I just said, "I'm Jennifer; I teach next door."
"Oh, hello. Can everyone say Hi to Ms. Jennifer?"
The boys turned around, smirking and said, "hey Ms." (one said, hey bestie)
Then she said, "maybe you can settle something for us...where is Jackie Chan from?"
I guessed China? (WTF?)
Then she asked about Jet Lee, and Connie Chung. (WTFx2)
I asked the boys how this pertained to Math.
No answer.
She then went on to talk about the population of India and China, and then the population of the US. When she asked what race would soon take over the majority of the US, my kids yelled, "Mexicans!"
"Yes!" she said. And then she went on to say, "we are jealous or your hair and skin; you're so beautiful. You'll have a bigger voice in the government. Do you know who the friends of the Mexicans are?" And I shit you not, she then hit her palm into her mouth (with noise) as to imply Indians (native american).
Then almost as fast as I was like, overwhelmingly, seriously what the hell? She asked me if I was wearing Uggs. She said she was full figured woman and they stopped making wide shoes at Payless. She said they were making narrow shoes and that was a problem.
She asked if Uggs were true to size or if they had wiggle room because she needed comfortable shoes to walk dogs.
She was not full figured. She was tall and skinny.
When she sat back down in her cushion she had brought from home to put over the chair (like a lounge chair cover), I had to get out. The boys were actually behaving because they were confused. And I decided they were on their own. Should I get help? Should I tell someone?
Nah...I went next door with my co workers and rehashed what I had just heard in the 5 minutes I was in there. We laughed hysterically and moved on with our lives.
But really, how Bizarre?!
Also, this year I'm going for straight up quantity over quality.
Walking into my school every day is like entering the gates of hell. It's my job to be involved in something hilarious, if possible, every day before I leave the building so the devil doesn't win. Today was a week's worth of hilarity.
I am pretty weird, and I've met some pretty weird people but today, I met bizarre. I really needed video or recording for this because it's kind of unbelievable...
My next door coworker was out today and had a sub.
She had subbed once before in the high school area and I heard stories at lunch about how strange she was. She set up the table with a table cloth and other things I can't remember...
I teach classes straight through to lunch every day which takes a lot of endurance, but I am rewarded with the afternoon conference time...no students after lunch. We always try to help a sub out because our kids are the worst with subs. I heard my 8th grade boys getting kind of loud through the wall while I was "working" so I grabbed some stuff to "grade" and headed next door to sit with them.
The sub looked like Black Mary Poppins. She had her hair put up, was wearing a long skirt, fitted sweater, and pointy shoes.
She said, "what is your name,again?" (she never got my name ever)
I never know how to introduce myself to an adult in front of students, so I just said, "I'm Jennifer; I teach next door."
"Oh, hello. Can everyone say Hi to Ms. Jennifer?"
The boys turned around, smirking and said, "hey Ms." (one said, hey bestie)
Then she said, "maybe you can settle something for us...where is Jackie Chan from?"
I guessed China? (WTF?)
Then she asked about Jet Lee, and Connie Chung. (WTFx2)
I asked the boys how this pertained to Math.
No answer.
She then went on to talk about the population of India and China, and then the population of the US. When she asked what race would soon take over the majority of the US, my kids yelled, "Mexicans!"
"Yes!" she said. And then she went on to say, "we are jealous or your hair and skin; you're so beautiful. You'll have a bigger voice in the government. Do you know who the friends of the Mexicans are?" And I shit you not, she then hit her palm into her mouth (with noise) as to imply Indians (native american).
Then almost as fast as I was like, overwhelmingly, seriously what the hell? She asked me if I was wearing Uggs. She said she was full figured woman and they stopped making wide shoes at Payless. She said they were making narrow shoes and that was a problem.
She asked if Uggs were true to size or if they had wiggle room because she needed comfortable shoes to walk dogs.
She was not full figured. She was tall and skinny.
When she sat back down in her cushion she had brought from home to put over the chair (like a lounge chair cover), I had to get out. The boys were actually behaving because they were confused. And I decided they were on their own. Should I get help? Should I tell someone?
Nah...I went next door with my co workers and rehashed what I had just heard in the 5 minutes I was in there. We laughed hysterically and moved on with our lives.
But really, how Bizarre?!
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