Teacher summers
I used to work with this woman. This will paint her in a very bad light, but I doubt she will ever read it, and I don't care if she does. If I ever see her again, I'm going to greet her with a punch to the baby maker.
(According to my lawyer that is not a threat...but it is a promise.)
My co-workers and I truly believe this woman, let's call her Peg (not even close to her name, but I feel she looks like a Peg...which unfortunately is an insult to Pegs everywhere) was out to get disability. Peg was missing work all the time for obscure reasons and "illnesses". She knew the district policy on absences like a pro.
She friended me (and only me from my school) on Facebook and on days she was absent, there were scrolling screens worth of activity all through the day of Farmville and other things she did all day.
Which was worse though? Her missing work or her being there?!
When she was there, she tried to start drama between people, did NOT do her job in the least, and jabbered/complained on at lunch (which I had with her for 3 years) about her dying husband (he's fine) and listing off her webMD researched symptoms for various things she was suffering from.
I am able to stare intensely at my food for 25 whole minutes while eating because of these lunches.
Her last year there, the week before Thanksgiving week break, she decided to miss the entire week of work. She left no work for her students, and grades were due Friday before we left for progress reports. The counselor asked me to do her grades for her students since I had held her position prior to her. It was my first year as a subject teacher and I had a lot of work of my own to do and really felt like throwing an Alex-sized temper tantrum about it.
I agreed because you have to be a team player, but I'm pretty sure I cried after school, completely behind and overwhelmed with the additional grading. (and for things I didn't even teach!)
I got it done because I'm awesome, but it wasn't without tears, sweat, and revenge fantasies involving blood.
Peg brought a lunch bag the size of 3 regular lunch bags to school every day. It took up a shelf by itself and that week she was gone, I would open the crowded fridge every morning to put my lunch in and see her massive bag taking up space and get really, really angry about it. And that's an understatement.
On Thursday, I had enough. I snatched the bag off the shelf, opened it...revealing half a green bell pepper in a sandwich baggie. That in that huge bag?! I dumped it in the trash and threw her bag on top of the teacher mail boxes. I mean, she obviously wasn't coming that week and we had the next week off. At the earliest if she ever came back, would be the Monday after the break.
When we returned to school, refreshed and ready for Christmas break, she had the gall to find me, corner me, and say, "Did you give my students a chance to correct their work? When they fail an assignment, I usually let them correct it for more points."
NOT Thank you for saving my ass...or sorry I made a lot of extra work for you...
It's the most self control I've ever used. That could have been the day I went to prison.
At lunch, I was late and when I got there, she was balls deep in telling the story about her lunch box in the most incredulous tone. "Who would just throw someone's food away that they paid for and throw their lunch box up like that?!"
(Well, I never!)
She thought it was the custodian, which shows you just how little she was at school. If she knew the custodian at all, she would realize they did even less than her. (*Bam...busting everyone's chops!)
I opened the fridge to get my lunch. As my head was blocked by the open door, a smile formed from the pit of my stomach, was born, and radiated like 1000 suns.
When she left, I looked at the remaining people and said, "IT WAS ME!!!!!!! and P.S. she had half a bell pepper in there. I didn't throw away her month's rations."
It's teachers like Peg that make some people think teachers have an easy job...that they don't deserve their summers off.
And they're right. Peg deserved nothing because she did, well, nothing.
I know it's a "straw man" argument, but every summer non teachers lament how nice it must be for us teachers to have their summers off. That's fine to say, but it's always said with this tone...this tone that puts you on the defense. (at least it put me on the defense...)
I took the year off to spend with buddha, so every day has been like summer (not really) but I remember those comments...
Don't ever tell a teacher it must be nice to have 3 months off.
Because first of all, that's laughable. Between next year prep and required summer classes/workshops, an average teacher gets a month and a half if they're lucky. Don't worry, we know...even a month and half seems generous, but take a look at our salaries some time...
Second of all, they've earned every single day of their summer and should do whatever they want...be it sleep, shop, or do absolutely nothing.
It's a necessary break so they don't come back and slap your kid in August.
Happy Summer my teacher friends!
(According to my lawyer that is not a threat...but it is a promise.)
My co-workers and I truly believe this woman, let's call her Peg (not even close to her name, but I feel she looks like a Peg...which unfortunately is an insult to Pegs everywhere) was out to get disability. Peg was missing work all the time for obscure reasons and "illnesses". She knew the district policy on absences like a pro.
She friended me (and only me from my school) on Facebook and on days she was absent, there were scrolling screens worth of activity all through the day of Farmville and other things she did all day.
Which was worse though? Her missing work or her being there?!
When she was there, she tried to start drama between people, did NOT do her job in the least, and jabbered/complained on at lunch (which I had with her for 3 years) about her dying husband (he's fine) and listing off her webMD researched symptoms for various things she was suffering from.
I am able to stare intensely at my food for 25 whole minutes while eating because of these lunches.
Her last year there, the week before Thanksgiving week break, she decided to miss the entire week of work. She left no work for her students, and grades were due Friday before we left for progress reports. The counselor asked me to do her grades for her students since I had held her position prior to her. It was my first year as a subject teacher and I had a lot of work of my own to do and really felt like throwing an Alex-sized temper tantrum about it.
I agreed because you have to be a team player, but I'm pretty sure I cried after school, completely behind and overwhelmed with the additional grading. (and for things I didn't even teach!)
I got it done because I'm awesome, but it wasn't without tears, sweat, and revenge fantasies involving blood.
Peg brought a lunch bag the size of 3 regular lunch bags to school every day. It took up a shelf by itself and that week she was gone, I would open the crowded fridge every morning to put my lunch in and see her massive bag taking up space and get really, really angry about it. And that's an understatement.
On Thursday, I had enough. I snatched the bag off the shelf, opened it...revealing half a green bell pepper in a sandwich baggie. That in that huge bag?! I dumped it in the trash and threw her bag on top of the teacher mail boxes. I mean, she obviously wasn't coming that week and we had the next week off. At the earliest if she ever came back, would be the Monday after the break.
When we returned to school, refreshed and ready for Christmas break, she had the gall to find me, corner me, and say, "Did you give my students a chance to correct their work? When they fail an assignment, I usually let them correct it for more points."
NOT Thank you for saving my ass...or sorry I made a lot of extra work for you...
It's the most self control I've ever used. That could have been the day I went to prison.
At lunch, I was late and when I got there, she was balls deep in telling the story about her lunch box in the most incredulous tone. "Who would just throw someone's food away that they paid for and throw their lunch box up like that?!"
(Well, I never!)
She thought it was the custodian, which shows you just how little she was at school. If she knew the custodian at all, she would realize they did even less than her. (*Bam...busting everyone's chops!)
I opened the fridge to get my lunch. As my head was blocked by the open door, a smile formed from the pit of my stomach, was born, and radiated like 1000 suns.
When she left, I looked at the remaining people and said, "IT WAS ME!!!!!!! and P.S. she had half a bell pepper in there. I didn't throw away her month's rations."
It's teachers like Peg that make some people think teachers have an easy job...that they don't deserve their summers off.
And they're right. Peg deserved nothing because she did, well, nothing.
I know it's a "straw man" argument, but every summer non teachers lament how nice it must be for us teachers to have their summers off. That's fine to say, but it's always said with this tone...this tone that puts you on the defense. (at least it put me on the defense...)
I took the year off to spend with buddha, so every day has been like summer (not really) but I remember those comments...
Don't ever tell a teacher it must be nice to have 3 months off.
Because first of all, that's laughable. Between next year prep and required summer classes/workshops, an average teacher gets a month and a half if they're lucky. Don't worry, we know...even a month and half seems generous, but take a look at our salaries some time...
Second of all, they've earned every single day of their summer and should do whatever they want...be it sleep, shop, or do absolutely nothing.
It's a necessary break so they don't come back and slap your kid in August.
Happy Summer my teacher friends!
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