jennifer patel

his face says it all: mom, you got skillz I've only gone Total Indian wife (TIW) a handful of times in my marriage. One especially hilarious time was when I threw 2017 to the wind and rewound to the year 1950. One of V's students missed the team dinner but still wanted some brown nosing time for his letter of rec from V. Looking back, I think he missed that dinner on purpose. The consolation was getting to come to our house and eat dinner ALONE with Dr. V. I went TIW and fed Alex early, put him to bed and cooked an authentic (Aarti Party) Indian meal for both the student and Vivek AND served them at the nice table. No plastic. Serving men at a table and not joining them might make them think you have no ambitions or talents of your own. You might think the student is full of bullshit as he kisses so much ass, you feel your eyes are going to roll out of your skull every time you walk back into the kitchen. The best part of that evening was that he talked nonstop about ...

V: Are we going to throw Z a Korean 100 Days party? Me: Sure! Let's do it! We counted it out and realized it was in 5 days. Both of us: Nope, no party for Z. Story of our lives. * * * I wish I could tell you, in detail, some of the challenges I've struggled with these first 100 days. I certainly don't want to boast or brag about what an easy time things have been. There are challenges, sure. But at the end of every day, the feeling of overwhelming adoration and captivation overshadow and erase any frustration I might have felt earlier. Looking at that baby and knowing that he is mine makes me feel sublimely happy. I find myself trying to find some kind of annoyance to talk about when people ask how we're doing with the baby. I do this because I feel like this is what is expected. I feel like if I just start gushing about this lovefest I'm living and have felt since they put him in my arms, I am some sort of deviant. Not normal. No one wants to know...

I get to write about my second baby's 100 days and my first baby's forever day around the same time. After writing Z's 100 Days post, I re-read Alex's first 100 Days (with us) post. I felt heartsick that they were the exact opposite experiences. It's not surprising I had a really hard time when Alex got here. I thought the challenges of parenting a new toddler would be immense, but quickly rewarding. What actually happened was Alex got here, through no choice of his own, completely foreign to everything and everyone. He was alone with everything familiar to him gone. Instantly. A 19 month old cannot prepare for goodbyes. He cannot know to cherish the time he has left with the only family he has ever known before he is taken from them. You cannot explain to him what is happening and why. Once forever homed, Alex didn't seem to care if we were there, or not, for months. We cared for him and he relied on us for the basic necessities, but every time he looked...