100 Days, Child #2

V: Are we going to throw Z a Korean 100 Days party?
Me: Sure! Let's do it!

We counted it out and realized it was in 5 days.

Both of us: Nope, no party for Z.


Story of our lives.

* * *

I wish I could tell you, in detail, some of the challenges I've struggled with these first 100 days. I certainly don't want to boast or brag about what an easy time things have been.
There are challenges, sure. But at the end of every day, the feeling of overwhelming adoration and captivation overshadow and erase any frustration I might have felt earlier.
Looking at that baby and knowing that he is mine makes me feel sublimely happy.

I find myself trying to find some kind of annoyance to talk about when people ask how we're doing with the baby. I do this because I feel like this is what is expected. I feel like if I just start gushing about this lovefest I'm living and have felt since they put him in my arms, I am some sort of deviant. Not normal. No one wants to know how great things are...they want to hear how tired you are. Like, they need to confirm that you are very tired. Well I am tired, don't worry. But in the best possible way.
It doesn't hurt that we still know very little about babies. We have nothing to compare this experience to, and we are barely keeping up with the reading. For all I know, we have the slowest baby on the block, yet everything he does seems amazing.

Admittedly I sometimes wonder when the high will wear off, when the other shoe will drop. But the truth must be that we waited so long for this time...and rode the roller coaster from hell to get there, that every milestone, every smile, every cry, everything! makes me feel like this (which even I know is stupid annoying).
So when you ask me how everything is going and my response is, "Good, really good." Just know that on the inside I'm bawling with all the feelings.

I take nothing for granted.

This has been the best 100 days.

it's my baby and i'll cry if i want to...