jennifer patel

"But what Jonah lost in weight...he gained in weight..." So Funny to me.  I think I would like to be roasted, some day. After all, if you can't laugh at yourself, you're probably an asshole.  *  *  * I have had a great break. Even though I feel like I have been cleaning my house and doing laundry every day since I have been off, it's a feeling of accomplishment and was made possible by the fact that Alex was miserably sick for a week.  Since it's December 31, am I obligated to write a New Year's post?  Maybe do a year in review? No thanks.  I looked back at Facebook's suggested year in review and it was bleak.  I was like, that's it?!  That's all I've done with a year? Hows about a story instead.  Whenever I didn't like someone growing up, my Dad would always tell me that I had more in common with them than not and to try and look for that commonality. Sure Dad, whatever you say.  The custodian at our sc...

Christmas really sneaked (snuck?) up on us this year (again). Last year, I never took Alex to see Santa; I figured it was just one more thing he didn't need to be terrified by.  A friend I work with told me she takes her son to Valley View Mall to see Santa because no one ever goes there and you can get in and out in 5 minutes. Even on Sunday afternoon 3 days before Christmas, she was right!  The place was a ghost town. While I feel like we needed to be packing while walking around that mall, I also felt safe within the physicality of my minority status in a way that was confusing and comforting all at the same time. When we got up to Santa (yes, he was a white Santa with blue eyes...whew!), we would have been the next person, but Santa had to go on break for half an hour.  I get it.  That's where he goes off and gets disinfected for the next round, right?  Takes a shower, de-lices his beard, and puts on a clean suit?  We'll wait for clean Santa, sur...

Day 4 School cancelled again?!  Daycare was open today, but I opted not to take A because V didn't have to be in until 10, so I got to work out while he stayed home with the tot.  After a much needed work out (let's not even start to count the amount of carbs/sugar consumed in 3 days), I sent my scout out to check the roads (V on his way to work day 10 out of like 25 in a row...) and we made our way to North Park to take care of some stuff I've wanted to do since Friday. Just as I suspected, the mall was full of parents and their children (or nanny and their clients' children at North Park).  Although not as crowded as it will be on the weekends, 5000 small children running around seems crowded.  (Just an estimate). Alex insisted on Chick-fil-A for lunch because it's the only place he really knows...so we stood in a line that wrapped around the food court to get some chicken.  Then we took 3 laps around the seating area looking for an open table.  It wa...

I wasn't planning on blogging a post before I got out from school for the Holidays, but I am starting to feel trapped in my house.  We've started a lot of bad habits this week.  I've also had too big of a presence on Facebook the past three days and I feel ashamed.  There are unspoken rules on Facebook.  I know there are hundreds of little compilations of what kind of Facebook user you are/you deal with, but there is truth in the hilarity; Your base will let you know when enough is enough... *Post that 100th picture of your kid in a two day time span and eventually start receiving 2 likes (from the the people who are notorious for liking everything (me) and just your family).  It means, we know you love your kid...hell, we do too...but please stop.  Or don't.  Okay, one more... *Complain or give thanks about everything.  There's a reason why no one is commenting; you don't want to see what the comment would be... *Just did a Facebook cleanse o...

On a recent night at Target, it was a rare trip alone for me...sans two-year-old.  As I was savoring walking up and down the aisles being able to actually look at stuff, I did the last of my impulse buying and headed to the front check out.  I was walking behind a group of young, stylish, barely 20-ish? year olds who were spending a night of their free life at Target...just because they could. They were talking and laughing about how they always act rich at Target, thinking they can buy whatever they want, even though they know they can't afford it.  They were debating whether they really needed nail polish and all the other stuff they had.  Then one of the girls started singing "We'll never be royals..." (a Lorde song) and they all laughed. I also laughed. Their laughter stopped as they turned around to look at me. *  *  * Other than this being classic me and one of many reasons I can't make new friends, I envied these girls for a minute, think...

When I get home from school in the afternoons, Alex has usually just woken up from his nap.  Like any great mom, I give him a sugary snack and turn on the TV while I take a short power nap.  I always pick a 30 minute (~24 min) show and it's usually Curious George because he has loved that monkey since he arrived in this country.  Truth be told, I love that monkey, too. About a week before Halloween I was napping during George and was very suddenly awoken by a loud and fearful scream from Alex.  He then [very slowly] jumped (slid off) off the couch and ran (shuffled) into my room like he was being chased by a monster (a very slow monster).  Of course I was startled and groggily looked for the source of his distress.  Only later did it become funny because he does nothing fast.  It was a slow motion and very dramatic event and even though I would never abandon him during the zombie apocalypse, I am already resentfu...

In every government-run work place that exists (probably), there is a THEY .  A group of unknown, rarely seen (and maybe made up?) people in charge who make decisions, optimistically, as they sit in their isolated offices eating really good snacks.  Just an aside: Nothing makes me happier than going into a place and being surprised by baskets of free, tasty snacks.  Title companies and swanky car dealerships have been great in my experience.  Sewell repair center in Dallas gives out cookies AND lemonade! Anyway... THEY are not thinking much about how their decisions might play out in a place other than their 'perfect world' brain spaces...definitely not the places the decisions will actually play out...God bless them; They have the best of intentions. Those decisions then trickle down and are implemented to the people working in the trenches.  Those people are then forced to swallow yet another piece of their dwindling dignity and "jump on board" for the grea...

Shortly after I started working again, V and I finally finished the made for Netflix series, Orange is the New Black .  Poor V was forced to listen to my several scenarios of how I would survive in the prison lifestyle.  (low security).  None of the scenarios turned out well; I still don't even know how I would align myself.  It's good to have a rough plan though, just in case...  I identified with the main character, Piper, for she was not only the most boring character, but her background made her unfit for the necessary street smarts needed to survive on the inside.  While I have never dappled in female romantic relationships or laundered drug money, I empathized with her overall naivety and her talent for foot in mouth situations.  Over the course of watching the show, I did that annoying thing where I let a TV drama make a reference in my every day life...almost every day.    "Hey, it's like that episo...

Who knew being a working mother would take up so much time?  And I'm not even working that hard...what do real , working mothers feel like?! Staff drama and school politics is at level red this year, and while I'm trying to stay cool and somewhat uninvolved (total lie...), it has generally left me uninspired to write anything worth reading.  I take that back; I have wanted to write a series of really mean (but really hilarious) vignettes about various people I work with as a way to cope with the massive asininity going on, but that would not be helpful or kind.  Again though, I want to emphasize how funny they would be... "The terrorists hate our freedom; they're freedom haters..." -impersonation of GW Bush  by David Cross Saturdays have always been my favorite day of the week because it's the only day when you really don't have to do any work or make any obligations if you don't feel like it.  I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss my...

I have spent countless hours browsing Pinterest and one of the funniest things I've seen is the "Nailed It!" pictures where people attempt to try things they see on Pinterest and fail miserably. Nailed it! We planned to celebrate a co worker of mine for becoming a citizen and I volunteered to make a patriotic cake that, of course, I found on Pinterest.  Sure it was intricate, but I had spent a week reading over the steps and to me, it seemed to be just a little more work than making a regular cake.  ok, I knew it wouldn't look as good as this...but still seemed manageable How many times have I ranted about how I hate Martha Stewart (secretly love) and how I know she leaves out the most important tips when giving recipes and crafts just so she stays superior and people say, "well I tried, but it didn't turn out as good as yours..." When will I ever learn... I had a plan. I came home from school Thursday afternoon and immediately began ...

So it happened. An 8th grade boy mumbled "suck my balls" when I asked (not told) him to get back in line in the hallway. My first reaction was to laugh...because secretly I share the maturity of an 8th grade boy...but instead I took it as an opportunity to also say "suck my balls" and be over-dramatically loud in school. Lose-Lose = Win?  No. (Not as in telling him to, but saying, "Did you just tell me to suck your balls?!  That's sick, holmes!"  I know rule #1 is to not humiliate a student in front of other students...but it was a rainy Friday and I couldn't even help myself.) After only 3 quiet weeks at alternative school (it never stays quiet for long), things are starting to pick up and I'm dealing with my first "problem child." He's an ass munch and a half and makes it near impossible to accomplish anything academic and definitely impossible to do anything procedural even though we do the same thing every.single.day. ...

sad and immobile This is me and my cousin, Mary.  We are two days apart by birth but several weight percentiles apart as six-month-olds.  I used to tell everyone that I had a twin sister and we were separated at birth and that I would find her some day like The Parent Trap .  Too bad I ate her... I arrived from the mother country just weeks before this picture was taken.  Mary: Jennifer, you're wearing a snap front sweat vest.  It's Monday Me: So? Mary: So that's against the rules and you can't sit with me on this blanket! Me: This is all that fits me right now... *Mary crawls off the blanket...

I hate to make everything about me all the time...really I do. When we got home from Korea with Alex, within the first months home, he identified and recognized V as "dad".  He could say it, and when he saw him, he called him by name. Mom, mommy, or any other version of the word was a different story.  His first nights home, he would wake up screaming for his other mother, "eomma" and when that stopped, for the next 10 and a half months would not call or identify me with any version of the word mom.  I read him books about mommy and baby everything and would point at myself and say "Alex's mommy" every time one of his cartoon shows would have a character calling for their mom. Nothing. I empathized with his trauma and need for time to attach, but I couldn't ignore that in my fragile state, I was feeling rejected because he wouldn't call me mom...even though I knew to expect it.  I also couldn't help to feel jealous that V was Dad almo...

Yep, we're still eating ice cream every day.  Look for us soon on Biggest Loser: Blended Family Edition  On my first day back to work after a year hiatus, I felt unfamiliar with many things that were once fast, routine, no brainers.  It seemed to take forever for me to set up my computer (the most important part of teaching), to make a mental list and gather supplies for my new area, and to kick start those neural pathways that were just a little overgrown.  I did manage to walk into my old classroom out of habit, only to recognize that it was no longer mine (even though a lot of my stuff is still in there) and I sure did manage to blow a kiss to the IT guy who helped me set up my computer.  It was more of a thank you gesture, but also because I haven't socialized with adults in a professional setting in over a year (and I really wasn't proficient in that area to begin with, even when I was many years in the game).  Add it to the list of awkward excha...